Lorax Of Sex Reviews The Njoy 11 Double Ended Steel Dildo

The Njoy Eleven is a thing of legend. I think it was one of the first sex-utensils that I put on my wishlist, much like every other sex-writer, -worker, and reviewer on this here planet. It’s the sort of thing you dream about and stare longingly at in display cases while sighing wistfully at the price tag. Clocking in at eleven inches long (hence the name) and 2¾ pounds of pure stainless steel, there’s no two ways about it- the Njoy Eleven is a glimmering beast.

I’ll admit that this was another of those review requests borne of a challenge- after experiencing an asshook with a large ball I wanted something more fuckable. Something that was girthy and frictionless the whole way down, something that would approximate the sensation of the hook but with more versatility. So I managed to work out a deal to snag one.

This wasn’t my first hands-on visit with an Eleven. In my previous role as a Dildo Ranch Wrangler I regularly showcased the Eleven in all its weighty, mirror-like glory- carefully placing a velvet cushion on the counter and advising “two hands, please”. Everyone ooohed and ahhhed over it, but selling an Eleven was a rare occurrence. It’s intimidating in and of itself, and then there’s the price tag; ranging from $299 – $310 online[1], and rarely on sale, this is not a impulse buy by any stretch of the imagination. This was my first opportunity to really get to know the Eleven internally, and boy-howdy am I glad I did.

The first rule of stainless steel sex utensils is: warm them up first, especially if it’s wintertime. It’s easy enough to do with a container of warm water or, if you’re me, wedging it under you while lounging on the couch. I take that back. The real first rule of stainless steel sex utensils is: resign yourself now to fingerprints and smudges. Just make your peace with it now, particularly if you’re the fastidious type. I spent far too long carefully buffing the Eleven and it’s siblings in display cases feeling a bit like Lady Macbeth. So the second rule of stainless steel sex utensils is to warm them up. Yes, you can chill them down too if you really want to (I haven’t and have absolutely zero intention of ever doing so). Do this in the refrigerator or cold water though- NOT IN THE FREEZER. Everyone remember the flagpole scene from A Christmas Story or “the wall” in Muppets Most Wanted? Yeah- don’t do that to your junk. You won’t be happy. Lastly- you’ll want some lube to go with this. Forget the “use lube if you have to” trope most folks trot out. USE LUBE.

Given my dislike of the Pure Wand, and being the anti-size-queen that I am, it’s no surprise that the first response when telling a friend how much I enjoy the Eleven was “Wait, which hole? I thought it was way too big for you!” For a long time, so did I. Even more surprising was that, despite my intentions for the Eleven, I was using it in my cunt. I’ve discovered that pretty much across the board if I don’t like a size/texture in silicone or skin that I need to try it in glass or steel. The lack of friction makes things so much easier, and takes a lot less lube. It’s still tricky to get in, and the larger end is an absolute no-go (sad, because using it that way has built-in grippy bits), but once I can work the small end in? G-ddamn. 

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