Backwoods Bedroom Reviews The WaterSlyde

Once in a while, a toy comes along that shakes things up and turns everything you thought you knew about sex toys upside down. A toy that is so supremely simple and staggeringly ingenious in its design, that you think to yourself, “Why didn’t I think of that?!” The WaterSlyde, is exactly one of those.

So, what if I told you that you could own a phenomenal sex toy that requires no batteries, no chargers, nor buttons. In fact, this toy lacks a need for motors, wires or a power source of any kind? (Unless, of course, you count tap water and pretty, pink ribbons, as such.)

Not only that, what if I announced that this toy is not prohibitively priced at some astronomical, god-awful, through-the-roof cost. Rather, it’s a surprisingly affordable alternative.

Would I Lie To You?

If you’re more than a bit apprehensive, I won’t blame you. I had my fair share of uncertainty, though something told me, I’d probably love the WaterSlyde.

From the moment I tried the WaterSlyde for myself, forward, I became a believer.

The WaterSlyde gained significant bonus points just for being a toy that returned me to my masturbatory roots. That is, solo water play, in the form of reclining in the bathtub. While enjoying the stream of tap water flowing down and over my vulva and clitoris.

During the earliest stages of my sexual experimentations, the water came straight from the faucet. I’d somehow always manage to contort and wedge my body to lie directly beneath the spigot. With my legs splayed wide and hilariously sticking straight up in the air. My torso practically bent into an uncomfortable “U shape”. I had to nearly curl up into a ball to pull this off.

Hey, the ends justified the means.

Eventually, I got smarter and improved upon my technique by opting for the more obvious course of action. I began to utilize the showerhead, in place of the spout. After this discovery, I never returned to my first love, the water faucet.

Later on, I even graduated to the water jets in my best friend’s in-ground pool. Imagine me as a chubby teen nonchalantly trying to lift my body far enough out of the water to align my genitals parallel to the deliciously powerful, pressurized water shooting out of the wall of the pool.

Smh. I probably wasn’t as inconspicuous as I imagined myself to be back then.

They’ll Pass You By; Glory Days

I regretfully inform you, with age comes the loss of flexibility and dexterity. Sad to say, I’m not as agile, nor limber as I once was. So attempting to twist my body practically into a knot to get off in the tub is no longer a viable option. Especially when, I have so many lazier methods to choose from.

Thankfully, the WaterSlyde diverter makes the water faucet-method of masturbation an accessible option for those (like me, ) who have a fat body or mobility issues. Or folks who simply may not have access to a handheld showerhead and can’t possibly pretzel their bodies to lie directly beneath the water spigot in their tiny bathtub.

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