When I saw this Cal Exotics Impulse Intimate E-Stimulator Kegel Exerciser up for review at SheVibe I was super excited, but not because I expected it to wow me. Nope, I’ll hold my hands up and admit that I picked it because I was certain that it would be crappy.
See, I really do love me some e-stim, but when it comes to zapping my vagina it’s like using shock paddles on a lump of wood. I’ve had myself hooked up to proper e-stim units with massive torpedo insertables whose entire surfaces were conductive, and I’ve felt nothing. One e-stim dildo did work for me, but that’s about it I think. So I really didn’t think that this little egg thingy with its two tiny conductive slivers – which has to share power with vibrations – could give me even the slightest of tingles.
So, in the box I found the exerciser, its remote control, and a dual USB charging cable. Yes, the remote is rechargeable! I danced a little jig when I discovered that, cos I’m so over trying to find cell batteries in my local shops. RCs are all well and good until their batteries croak, so being able to charge this one at the same time as the toy, with the same charger is awesome.
This one is made of plastic with a soft touch coating, and its buttons are gold-tone. It’s probably the lightest remote I’ve ever held in my hand. Seriously, there is absolutely no weight to it at all. To be honest, that adds to the overall cheap feel of it. It’s not as bad as some I’ve seen, but it does feel mighty breakable.
It’s easy enough to use, though. On button at the bottom, vibration button in the middle, and e-stim button at the top. That said, I would have preferred the power button to be in the middle, cos having two function buttons so close together can bring unwanted results. Turning the vibes on during e-stim or hitting e-stim when you’re looking for vibes, for example. It’s easily done if all available hands are under the blankets, or if it’s dark, and no-one can see. Because, even though the buttons do light up, it’s not until you’re committed to the press. Then you get what you get. Still, it’s better than trying to fiddle with the power button at the end of the exerciser’s retrieval cord.
The Cal Exotics Impulse Intimate E-Stimulator itself is a modest little thing. Its insertable bulb is 3” in length, with a girth of approximately 3.8”. Two slim, 1.2” gold-tone metal inserts adorn either side, burrowed into the deep purple silicone. Said silicone feels decently thick, giving a nice softness to the toy.
Most of its girth is at the top and it tapers down to a super slim teardrop shape. Even though the tip is quite blunt its small size makes it easy enough to insert. You can use lube to give it a bit of slip, but I opted for conductive gel. More on that in a bit.
At the end of the 4.5” retrieval cord (which isn’t even a little bit stretchy) is a big-assed power button. Pushing it for 4 second or so puts the toy on standby. From there, you need the remote, you can’t control the functions any other way.
What you’ll get when you start to push buttons is 7 vibe modes and 5 e-stim intensities. As a vibrating love egg, the Cal Exotics Impulse Intimate E-Stimulator is pretty decent. Well, the externally the vibes are decent. My clit responds really well to the third setting, which I laugh at every time I play with this thing. The shift between speeds one and two is subtle, but the difference between two and three is significant. I get a wee surprise every time I click the button.
Internally, though, it’s not much to write home about. I can feel it, but it’s not particularly orgasmic. The thing is, I’m not sure it’s supposed to be. As it’s a kegel exerciser, I’m wondering if just feeling it is the intention. Knowing it’s in there, using the vibes to feel your squeezes, or at least encourage you to do them. It’s quiet once it’s inserted so I guess it could be good for public play. Provided the remote can still connect to the signal receiver.
But I’m not a lover of love eggs so I’m not all that bothered that yet another one doesn’t stimulate my vag. What I wanted here was a zapper, and do you know what? That’s exactly what I got.
I swear, you could have knocked me down with a feather when I first used the e-stim. It’s not gonna be good, she said. I’m not gonna feel it, she said. Then I turned it on and I felt my muscles flutter in response to a soft prickle. So I turned it up a notch. My fluttering muscles clenched. Up one more notch, and I gasped a bit and tried to move away from my own vagina. On full power? It’s almost painful.
