If you’re looking to strap it on for any reason, there are a lot of options available and that may leave you understandably overwhelmed. With seemingly countless styles, all with their own benefits and drawbacks, it can be difficult to know which one is right for you. In order to ease the process we’ve put together a guide to the basics so that you can ditch the hassle and get on with your fun!
O-Ring Harness
One of the most common styles and a great starter option is the most basic; an O-Ring harness, which you can purchase stand-alone or can find in almost all harness kits. The basic options use one belt like strap that goes around the waist and two that go around each leg. In front, resting on your pubic mound is an “O-Ring” which holds your harness-compatible toy in place. The options you’ll see most often will have what I call “backpack straps” with that familiar nylon webbing and pull-to-fit design you see on most backpacks. These straps fit around your legs providing not only a great fit but serve to maximize control over your movements (and your dildo).
With easily customizable size and the ability to hold almost any harness-compatible toy, this is one of the most versatile of strap-on styles. This versatility does come with some caveats, though: the basic options are not ornate or beautiful, and some people don’t like the aesthetic of straps and buckles. Prettier options in this family will often have prices to reflect their quality materials and craftsmanship.
Suggested O-Ring, Double Leg Strap Harnesses:
Tip: Want to fit a larger variety of toys in your O-ring harness? Get a variety of O-Ring sizes, like the Tantus Silicone O-Ring Set.
Selecting O-ring size for your dildo: The rule of thumb with O-ring size is that you want to match the widest point of your dildo (generally the base). If your O-ring is too big you’ll have limited control. If it’s too small, you won’t be able to get it over the dildo. You can sometimes get away with your O-ring being a little smaller than your dildo and use what’s called the “bag trick” to shimmy it on.
We have an array of O-rings & accessories here.
You can view the “bag trick” here – it’s shown with a Joque Harness but the theory works with any O-ring:
Thong Harness
Thong-style harnesses are exactly what they sound like: they have a strap that goes around the waist and another that goes between the legs and butt cheeks. These have what I always feel is an 80’s dominatrix aesthetic, sitting high on the waist and often made of black leather. I’d call them a sibling of the O-ring style; they have the same O-ring attachment system. If you want to pair your harness with a toy that will stimulate the clitoris, though, this style is not for you: it holds the toy too high on the pelvis for that to work for most wearers. They also don’t allow for easy access to the wearer’s genitals, and some people just don’t like the feeling of a thong: both should be taken into consideration before purchase.
Suggested Thong Harnesses:
Tip: “Harness-compatible” toys are any dildo that has a flared base, which allows you to slip it through the ring on your harness. Some have very simple flared bases, but others like the Fuze Silicone dildos are a bit more complex, with textured bases for the wearer’s pleasure.
Panty or Brief Harness
People love the look of a panty or brief style harness: without all the straps, pulls, and hardware, they offer a more streamlined look. Many people prefer this aesthetic, which ranges from masculine to lacy and feminine, and Temptasia brand brief harnesses are one of the more affordable options available. The looks do come with some drawbacks, though: they generally cannot hold and ultimately control a heavy toy without some assistance (such as an O-ring stabilizer), and they are not as stable as O-ring harnesses. These styles are often limited to dildos approximately 5-6” long and 1.5” wide in order for the wearer to maintain maximum control. The masculine styles, especially the boxers with a flap over the O-ring, are a favored style for those who like to “pack” as well.
Suggested Panty Harnesses:
Double Penetration Harness
Double Penetration harnesses are exactly what they sound like: they’re a harness that can be worn by anyone — the SpareParts Deuce is built for people with a penis specifically — which can either hold two dildos in place, or a penis can be pulled through one of the rings. These are great for those who want the DP fantasy or sensation but don’t have a second person or don’t want to share. They’re also great for people with erectile dysfunction, paralysis, or some other health issue that causes their penis to not get or stay hard: you’re still able to penetrate your partner and can have some sensation if you pull your penis through one of the holes in the harness. The same goes for hollow strap-ons (such as the Vixen Ride On or Colossus), which are great for the purpose of penetration or for achieving size, thickness, or texture that can’t be achieved naturally.
Suggested Double Penetration Harnesses:
- Spareparts Tomboii Double Penetration Boxer Briefs
- Spareparts Deuce
- Aslan Jaguar paired with Double Up Dildo Cuff
Vac-U-Lock Systems
Vac-U-Lock is a proprietary dildo system by Doc Johnson that uses a special plug which inserts into the shaft of a specially made attachment and then fits onto a Vac-U-Lock harness or other Vac-U-Lock accessory. These systems can be a relatively inexpensive introduction into harness kits which simultaneously provide lots of varying usage options.
Vac-U-Lock products can be compatible with other harnesses if they have a flared base or if you have the plug accessory to give it a flared base.
Vac-U-Lock products are most compatible with water based lubricants – it is always your safest choice. Silicone lubricant can be used with PVC attachments, but never with UR3 or silicone attachments. Silicone lubricant may also cause an undesirable build up on your harness.
Never use oils of any kind with Vac-U-Lock products. Vac-U-Lock toys should be stored independently of each other. Socks or even t-shirts are handy for individually wrapping your toys. Please carefully follow all care and cleaning instructions as they pertain to the materials your harness set consists of.
Strapless Strap-Ons
You may have heard of so called “ Strapless Strap-Ons”; go check out the Tantus Feeldoe if you want an idea of what they look like. The concept is that one end is inside of the person (the wearer) doing the penetrating, and the other end is their “phallus,” which is accurate. What’s not so accurate is not needing a harness to go with it: they’re difficult to keep up, stable, and in the right position without a strap-on harness to stabilize it. Their main benefit is that the wearer feels what’s happening with every thrust, every movement and interaction. It’s far more intimate than just having something strapped to you. My favorite design for these is the Fuze Tango, which is optimized for thrusting and a bullet vibe holder that’s placed optimally for both participants. Just keep in mind that you may enjoy using your Strapless Strap-On more with the aid of an O-ring harness such as the Spareparts Joque or the Aslan Jaguar.
Measuring for your harness
The last bit of information you need is this: make sure that you accurately measure yourself and look at the measurements of your harness before you buy, especially with more expensive options. Harnesses should fit snugly, but you want to make sure there’s enough room for your hips and legs to fit comfortably. This is less of an issue with basic O-ring harnesses, which usually have very long, adjustable straps. Be sure to check sizing in any case and don’t assume you know what’s right for you without measuring first. The more expensive harnesses will have very detailed instructions as to how to successfully measure for that particular harness. Sizing for the Spareparts Sasha and Tomboi are VERY specific. Since harnesses are not returnable, if you have any questions about determining your size, please contact us before purchasing.
