You've got a lot of choices to consider for something that doesn't even vibrate, so how do you know which one might be best for you? As with any sex toy, you might buy a few duds before finding your ideal dildo, so don't get discouraged. But if you feel intimidated by all the categories, let me help make sense of things!
Size
The first thing you need to narrow down is the size. You will usually see (in the US) the measurement is the diameter, rather than the circumference. Also, most companies will give you only one diameter which is usually the widest bit on the insertable part; i.e. most will not give you the diameter including the balls, since the balls aren't meant for insertion.
If you've already inserted items, consider their size and go from there. If you've only had a finger or two inserted then you should start out with dildos that are 1.25" or less. If you have had a penis inserted in you, base your size off of it. Not willing to whip out the measuring tape on the most recent penis in your life? Here's a strange-but-it-works suggestion: Head to the grocery store and check out some vegetables. Grab a few that look like they're the "right" size for you, and take them home to be measured. Don't use them, though! If you must insert for certainty, cover with a condom after you've washed the vegetable but please don't ever insert a zucchini up your bum, unless you'd like a trip to the Emergency Room.
When you're considering length, keep in mind that longer dildos can be great for providing added length to hold on to; they don't necessarily need to be inserted fully.
Special Notes on: Vaginal Use
For someone who hasn't experienced penetration at all OR for someone who experiences painful penetration, the use of a dilation set may come in handy. Most will begin with the largest size dilator that feels comfortable and gradually increase its size over time.
Otherwise, for vaginal use, you have no limits on what to choose as far as design is concerned. For most people, something curved is better at targeting the g-spot. For some folks, a pronounced ridge at the head of a dildo (or even just a larger, bulbous head like that of the Njoy Pure Wand or Dee Lee Doo HABU can "catch" on the pubic bone while thrusting; this is usually noticed more often with very firm dildos.
Just like potato chips, some people prefer ridges and some don't. Play around with textured dildos to see how your g-spot responds to the ramped-up sensation.
Special Notes on: Anal Use
If the dildo is meant for anal use, it must have a flared base or balls. The butt can suction up a great many things, even large items, and require emergency care for removal. If you're using the dildo for anal play, consider keeping it just for your butt and your butt only. Dildos made from silicone, glass, metal, ceramic and wood can be sanitized in between uses and absolutely should be sanitized if you plan to use it in both orifices.
Those looking for a dildo or two to warm them up for anal sex (penetration) may want to consider buying more than one size. For beginners, warming up the anus and using plenty of lube will prevent micro-tears of the delicate tissue and will make your eventual anal sex much more comfortable. Consider starting out with the Tantus Silk or Vixen Vixskin Spur and working up in small quarter-inch increments.
Materials
The absolute best materials to choose are silicone, ABS plastic, glass, metal, wood and ceramic. All are considered non-porous (wood dildos have been coated and treated) and all are going to last a lifetime with care and cleaning. Non-porous materials can be sanitized and silicone dildos can even be boiled.
Porous materials such as jelly, rubber, latex, PVC and even TPE/TPR can harbor bacteria and potentially grow mildew/mold. Covering porous materials with a condom hasn’t been proven effective and there are no studies to show otherwise. It hasn't been disproved either, but if you must, then try a polyurethane condom instead of latex. Some porous materials can break down and ooze an oily substance, which would ruin a latex condom. Also, all porous material sex toys should be stored separately, otherwise they will encourage each other to break down even faster and can ruin other toys. If you do buy a porous material, keep a close eye on it. Examine it before each use for color changes, odors and black spots. If you see any of that happening, replace it immediately. If you experience any discomfort or burning during use, discontinue use immediately. It is also wise to discern that any reactions you’re experiencing aren’t due to lube. The best rule of thumb is that porous toys are for short term use only and will need to be replaced often.
Glass, metal, wood and ceramic are all very solid materials of course, but can feel really awesome. Many people prefer, even need, the pressure and firmness from these solid materials for the best g-spot and prostate orgasms. Metal and glass dildos can be gently warmed or cooled for interesting sensations. A fan-favorite metal dildo that many swear by is the Njoy Pure Wand.
Silicone dildos come in many different shore strengths, and some are even dual density. The dual density dildos such as Tantus O2, Vixen Vixskin, Doc Johnson’s Truskyn and Blush Neo Elite line all have a solid firm core that makes up 75-85% of the dildo. The outer layer is made from a softer silicone that feels more life-like. These can be found in realistic and non-realistic designs.
Strapping On and Double Dildos
When you’re looking at dildos to be used with a harness, always look for something with a base. Shevibe makes this task easy; each product page will feature an icon that tells you if a dildo is harness-compatible. Sometimes, realistic styled dildos with balls can be fitted into a harness. In this case look for the harness to feature 4 snaps around the O-ring versus 3; if it only has 3 then the bottom snap won’t be long enough to go over the balls.
Double dildos (like the Fuze Tango or Fun Factory Share) are advertised as a “strapless strap-on dildo” implying that you don’t need a harness. The smaller end, worn by the dildo-wielder, is meant to stay in place using only your PC muscles. Many folks aren’t capable of this, so these can be paired with a harness for stability. The Spareparts Joque is one harness that is great for the job. You’ll want to look for harnesses that are meant to sit lower on the body. Another option from Aslan is the Commando, or you can opt for one of the many styles from the Her Royal Harness Line by CalExotics. For a harness that offers comfort and style, consider the Aslan Jaguar or Minx.
Buying a Dildo as a Gift
It's a wonderful idea to want to buy someone a dildo as a gift, but make sure you know what size they prefer and what style. Some people heartily prefer realistic-looking dildos while others are very turned off by them. Shopping together online to get ideas is the best route to take.
Price
Understandably, most of us have budgets. The number of silicone dildos priced under $40 at SheVibe is growing all the time. Many budget silicone dildos will be very firm, but not all are. Lower cost silicone dildos that have a silky smooth finish can often be filled with another material to cut down on costs - when cared for properly, though, you will never see or be exposed to the inexpensive core material. Blush Novelties makes a few dual-density silicone dildos that are very affordable and may be a great starting point for many folks!
