Back at the dawn of all Creation – or maybe just Vixen Creations – some Vixen gal sat down, fondled one of her new creations and thought: Not big enough… Now, exactly which one she was fondling; we have no idea. – Nor does it matter, I guess. What matters is this; the girl was horny as all hell, or just way too randy for her own good! Because not only did she name the next mother *blipper* she made “Randy”, she made him so girthy that quite a few girls looks at him in panic and starts hauling arse for the hills in terrified screaming horror. The rest? Well, the rest are probably about as horny as our mentioned Vixen gal… And I happen live with one of those ‘rest’ ones…
SheVibe is the place to go if you want a great deal on Randy, which by the way is a new and ‘improved’ Randy. And no, our Vixen gal didn’t make him larger, just… umm… better.
The first generation Randy had an overhaul, as did a few other first generation Vixen toys, when VixSkin really took off with their skin tones. The VixSkin toys are made quite ingeniously by having an outer layer of this – utterly scrumptious – 100% silicone; which then contains a premium silicone lubricant suspended between the molecules. And that’s what’s giving VixSkin a more realistic squishy feel and a greater elasticity surrounding their firmer inner cores. The final product is a toy, which – just like a real cock – has a softer skin-layer surrounding a firmer core of blood-pumped veins and muscles underneath.
Now, I love how they set about making a product like this; totally hypoallergenic and body-safe, without harmful chemicals, toxins, phthalates – or anything else from that whole joyful pile of crap many manufactures still feel “obligated” to use in sex toys – in the process. Just really really brilliant!
But then, how brilliant is Randy itself you ask? Well, if you can handle him you’ll be on cloud nine, if you can’t, you’ll probably want to try making a go at it anyway… I, to my deep sorrow, unhappiness and dismay cannot. Trust me; I’ve tried. I can get him in, sure. Does it feel good? Not, so much. He is simply too girthy for me right now. Something I intend soon to be remedied!
My Other Half on the other hand… Well, let me give you the lay of the land, so to speak.
Randy, being a whopping 7” in circumference – yes, that’s 2¼” in diameter – is not actually all that long. Well, 6¾”, but we’ve seen quite a few toys longer. 5½” of those are insertable, so you’ll be stretched and – from what my Other Half screams in delight – *blipping* full… These measurements are my own, and seem to vary slightly from a few sites I’ve seen; listing Randy at ‘only’ 2⅛” in diameter… He is, listed or not, 2¼”. Now to give you some sort of comparison; that’s more than my Other Half’s fist… Now granted, she’s a petite woman of 5 foot 3 inches, but still… So you see; Randy is a big boy. Short maybe. Small no!
And he’s HEAVY! When Randy arrived, my first thought was, “Damn! This thing is HUGE!” And it is. The next was, “Damn, this thing is HEAVY!”. Yep, I remember it perfectly… Randy weighs a full pound. But seriously, if you can get him in there, you’ll probably feel so good he could weigh a ton for all you care. Now my third thought? “Oh, shit. There is no *blipping* way that thing is fitting inside my arse! Nope, Not happening.” And I was almost right about that last bit. Hehe…
Randy comes in the standard Vixen Creations tube – which I love. But getting him out was kind of a challenge; because the base of Randy is pretty much the exact same size as the tube, and with the curve pressing him against the tube as well… Yeah, he’s a tight squeeze all right. It took a little pulling, but I finally got him out. If you take both end-caps off, it’ll be a little easier. Ours being the vanilla color, but there are caramel and chocolate to choose from as well. The vanilla actually compliments our skin tone pretty close. It’s a pretty nice looking toy. And though the VixSkin head is soft and delightfully squishy, the firmer core of the body – pressing him up in a curve – makes it an implausibility if Randy doesn’t take immediate possession of your G-spot. He is simply so girthy that your G-spot can’t hide!
At least, my Other Half seems to think so, and in this I’d have to agree. My Other Half has always been in love with girthier toys, so showing her Randy was basically like presenting her with Tiffany diamonds. She lit up in this … special … smile she conjures up, when her vagina takes over her brain. Love that smile! After that I barely had a chance to get these first brief impressions – which I usually try to assimilate before we ‘play’. And we were off to the races.
Now, trying to warm up a girl intent on only one thing, can be quite a battle of wills. I wanted her to feel good about this new amazing coke-can sized toy, she wanted Randy inside her NOW! In the end I simply strapped her in and went all kinds of kinky on her. Well, a few kinds, at least. I was trying to warm up her pelvic muscles and get her to relax. That last bit proved rather impossible, but I did get her off a couple of times before I relented. She was almost whimpering in anticipation when I took Randy to her. I then made sure he was well lubed up from her juices – and a good dollop of water-based lube – and went to town. And to my utter bafflement, she practically swallowed the damn thing! I mean, she’s a … small … petite woman!? But there it was, Randy inside to the base, – and she was diggin’ it! Holy *blip*, did she ever! It wasn’t a matter of minutes – though I can’t be too sure, I was having too much fun – before she came. I know her moans and groans as if stamped on my brain, and in the second before she came, I popped him all the way out (it really does go ‘pop’), and she came like the flood gates of heaven broke! To say I was pleased would be the understatement of my life.
Since then we’ve used Randy in heaps of ways. He has a great suction base, so she’ll plant him on the bottom of the tub and go ‘riding in the water’. His flared base makes him perfect for anal, and to my profound jealousy, she has GREAT orgasms from anal fun with Randy. As I mentioned: with a lot of fun and warm-up, I did try having him in as well, but the feeling of pleasure seemed quite definitely replaced by the feeling of ‘need more practice’… if you get my drift… The flared base also makes him ideal for harness play. Just make sure you have a harness-ring big enough to hold him. And of course a harness capable of holding the larger ring.
Being made from all this eco-friendly, 100% pure silicone, cleaning of Randy couldn’t be easier. Since he’s completely non-porous, all you need to do is give him a good wash in some warm water with some anti-bacterial soap. Finish that off with a good sex toy cleaner – or alcohol-wipe – and he’s good as new.
Randy is – to put it mildly, and in one word – perfect. If you can handle his girth, you won’t find a better toy. I’ll stake my reputation on it. Even if you can’t handle him, you’ll want to. He is most definitely a toy to strive for. The pliable soft VixSkin alone feels almost too good to be true. The length also makes him perfect for those who doesn’t want their cervix slammed, just because they love girthier toys. And if you can handle him for some anal fun: I envy you like … a whole lot!
SheVibe will set you straight with a great price on Randy. – Or any of the other VixSkin toys for that matter. I’ve also made reviews of Buck and Maverick from the 2nd generation range of VixSkin as well, so go check those out – if you think Randy is… well, a little too Randy.
