Interview: A Megatron Interview With Sunny & Ken

This December SheVibe is proud to feature the amazing Sunny Megatron, an adult sexuality educator, public speaker, sex blogger, pleasure advocate and the host and executive producer of Sex with Sunny Megatron on Showtime.

Voted one of the 6 most savvy sexologists in North America, Sunny guest lectures at universities and teaches sell-out sexuality workshops across the continent with her husband and Sex with Sunny Megatron producer, Ken Melvoin-Berg.

Sunny is a bodacious combination of intelligence, brass balls and charming beauty frosted with a killer smile and that trademark crown of red hair.

This month, SheVibe is celebrating the holidays with Sunny Megatron, her husband Ken and a dinner party featuring the kind of folks we'd just love to have a spirited conversation with! In the meantime, we present a fascinating Q&A appetizer...enjoy!

SheVibe:

How did you discover and ultimately find the courage to explore your own sexual awakening? Was it an "a-ha moment" or a series of experiences?

Ken:

I’ve always known I was kinky. My first major sexual encounter involved analingus and choking someone out while having sex, consensually in a good way.

Sunny:

A part of me always knew deep down but I kept it suppressed because I thought it wasn’t normal. Through my early adulthood I had partners that shamed me for it. My “ah-ha” moment came in my early 30s when I realized my sexual inclinations were perfectly normal and there were other people in the world just like me.

SheVibe:

What advice would you give to people looking to take that next step in their own sexual discovery?

Ken:

Try everything at least once, from all positions and roles.

Sunny:

A couple of things. First, work on your own sexual self awareness. Figure out what you like, are interested in trying, and what your limits are. Secondly, learn to communicate those things effectively to your partner. Then try some of those things out together. It’s important through all of this to keep your mind open and to be prepared for your sexual landscape to keep evolving. If your sexual journey involves a partner, they may also want to explore new things. Make sure your communication, understanding, and compassion with each other stays strong.

SheVibe:

How can we help people feel more comfortable talking to their children about sex? Most folks are horrified at the thought of it, but that just perpetuates the cycle doesn’t it? For myself, as our daughter gets older, I’m faltering a little, I want to make sure she knows she’s entitled to pleasure, safety and consent.

Ken: http://www.scarleteen.com

Sunny:

It is hard! Even for us as sexuality educators we have awkward moments talking about sex with our kids. I think the most important thing is making sure the comfort starts with the parents. That shameful knee-jerk reaction is so ingrained in all of us when it comes to sex— but if we are embarrassed while talking to our kids, the conversation is going to be that much harder. That’s part of the reason why we do this. Our teachings and our Showtime show inspire people to have conversations sex. The more comfortable we become doing that, the more comfortable all our sex related conversations will become, even the ones we have with our kids.

Also it’s important for us parents to remember the sex talk isn’t just about the mechanics. It involves learning how to navigate relationships, understanding our feelings about gender and orientation, and a host of other things that we need to think about before actual sex happens. Those are vitally important conversations we need to have with our kids and they aren’t often addressed in school sex ed courses.

SheVibe:

You and your husband teach together, film a show together, work together and raise a family together. Most couples find it difficult to keep the spark while just living together. What’s the secret to nurturing a loving and sexually active relationship in the midst of being together 24/7?

Ken:

Communication, honesty, and laughter.

Sunny:

It’s amazing we haven’t strangled each other (in a non-sexy way) by now, right?! Honestly though, I love working with Ken and being together in everything around the clock. At the end of the day we have to remember we are a team. Of course we don’t see eye to eye on everything but like any good team we talk things out, compromise, and move on. We’re not afraid to have difficult conversations, be completely honest with each other to solve an issue and move on to the next thing. Of course, we do laugh a lot. It’s ridiculous how much we joke around in our home office. Even when we bicker there’s an element of humor and lightheartedness to it. Taking things too seriously all the time leads to unnecessary tension.

SheVibe:

How did “Sex with Sunny Megatron” become a reality? Where do you see the show going in future seasons?

Ken:

#SwSM More extreme journeys, different geographical sexual subcultures, new personalities and new technologies/fads.

Sunny:

It’s was bizarre how this all came to be. It’s really nothing we set out to do— it just sort of happened! Ken and I were doing our thing— teaching, writing about sex, reviewing toys, etc. Paul Fishbein, the founder of AVN, had been looking for a host for a pleasure products web-series for his production company, Plausible Films, and he found us via YouTube. Ken and I started working on Outside the Box with him and things snowballed from there. We all started developing the concept of the show together and less than 2 years later here we are with season 1 of Sex with Sunny Megatron under our belts. It’s been a fast, unexpected, wild ride!

I see the concept of the show being the same but just spreading its wings a bit more. New locations around the world, new sexual practices being explored, etc. The cool thing about Sex with Sunny Megatron is that it highlights the human condition which is universal. We may feature the strangest fetish ever but what’s underneath that is the desire for pleasure, authenticity, love, and genuine connection. That’s something we all want and all can relate to no matter how we express it in the bedroom.

SheVibe:

You and Ken are non-monogamous. How do you avoid the pitfalls and emotional risks associated with an “open relationship”?

Ken:

We are a Monopoly, emotionally monogamous, but we occasionally have sex with others. Sometimes together, sometimes separate. We always talk about it ahead of time and have veto power over anyone else. Again honesty, communication and laughter.

Sunny:

Similar to how we work so well together, I suppose. We communicate until we’re blue in the face and are clear on our ground rules. We also don’t take ourselves too seriously. At the same time we have a lot of respect for each other and make sure we uphold each others wishes first and foremost. And yes, sometimes we get jealous but rather than lashing out, we talk to each other about it. I find usually when I feel jealous it’s because I feel like something is lacking in our relationship. Perhaps it’s been a while since we’ve had a date night, etc. Jealously inspires us to look inward at what we have together and prompts to work on whatever may be a little funky.

SheVibe:

We’re sex toy aficionados ourselves... What are your feelings on the current state of the sex toy marketplace in terms of offerings and diversity? In what ways do you feel that pleasure toys can enhance the average couples sex life?

Ken:

Toys are getting better with more competition to supply better materials and methods. New technologies are following these trends and making the possibility of orgasms better alone or separate.

Sunny:

I love that toys are made for better materials and that there are so many different kinds now. A few years back there weren’t many toys for penises and they held a certain stigma. Today they are much more acceptable.

SheVibe:

What did you and Ken do before you became Superheroes of Sex?

Ken:

I was an entrepreneur, author, TV personality, professional psychic and ghost hunter.

Sunny:

I worked for a major ad agency for near 20 years. Most recently, and concurrently with sex ed, I’ve been a freelance copywriter, social media consultant, and Chicago historian/tour guide working for Ken’s tour company. Apparently I’ve switched gears again and can now add TV host/producer to that list!

SheVibe:

You and Ken got married in the middle of filming “Sex with Sunny Megatron”. Will we see the wedding as a topic covered by the show? We’ve heard it was a wild affair... what constitutes “wild” for Sunny and Ken?

Ken:

#NoPantsWedding It will not be on the show. It was a no pants, drunken pub crawl with fucking and sucking going on at each stop. Following that was a burlesque show of epic proportions and an after party at a dungeon.

Sunny:

Yes, our wedding was a private affair and it was something! After our voodoo ceremony at a historic Japanese Garden, we loaded up 2 motor coaches full of friends and family for a pub crawl reception. The dress code was costumes, no pants, or both. Unbeknownst to us, our guests decided to get wild and sexy and were ducking into bathrooms, under pool tables, and other interesting places for all sorts of on-the-sly dirty fun. It was an amazing night!