First, let me admit that I skim over things often, and can miss a detail the first time around. When I was looking at the Fun Factory Amorino, I kept wondering how it would work, having that band on it while being inside the vagina. I wondered even further when I got the thing in my hands. It wasn’t until I pulled out what passes for a Fun Factory manual that I saw the warning: “Do not leave the band on during vaginal or anal insertion!” Ok anal insertion, absolutely I understand that. But then I’m not the sort to use a “rabbit” styled vibe anally. So if you’re not supposed to leave the band on for insertion…….?
There were bizarre diagrams of it, but none made sense. According to the FF website: “The gently taut silicone stimulation band is placed between the softly rounded tip and the side bud for clitoral arousal. It externally stimulates the Venus mound and the vaginal lips – this little detail ensures levels of excitement of a special kind.” Like, a very special Blossom episode, kind of special? Special how, exactly?
And still I said to myself, “I don’t fucking GET it”.
Seemingly unrelated factoid: Threading is an ancient hair removal method. “In threading, a thin (cotton or polyester) thread is doubled, then twisted. It is then rolled over areas of unwanted hair, plucking the hair at the follicle level. Unlike tweezing, where single hairs are pulled out one at a time, threading can remove short lines of hair.”
I think I know what threading feels like, now, and I do not like it. Not one bit. I attempted to clumsily utilize a design (rabbit) meant to be inserted vaginally as a external-only labia massager, because they told me to. With the band. IT DIDN’T GO WELL. AT ALL. In fact, I’m never going to use that yellow band again. NEVER NEVER NEVER. I would really love to talk to the person who thought it was a good idea. I have a drawer in my sex toy dresser that has a picture of Grumpy Cat pasted on the front. The yellow band is going in the Grumpy Cat drawer. I experienced the most discomfort using it in the crossed position. I didn’t think this shit up on my own, the box told me to try it. Rather, the best position for the band is off, and sitting far away.
