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Ninja Sexology Reviews The Jimmyjane Ascend 4 Vibrator

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Review: Jimmyjane Live Sexy Ascend 4

Thanks to my wand-loving blogger buddies (notably Wand Queen Sarah Brynn Holliday), I’ve been venturing more and more into the land of vibrators that provide broader, deeper stimulation. But as much as I’ve come to appreciate wands, they are usually large and don’t lend themselves well to travel.

The Ascend 4 from Jimmyjane caught my eye because it seemed to offer the best of both worlds: broad stimulation in a compact package. It’s rechargeable, waterproof, and has a motor at each end for versatility. And all this for the relatively low price of $65. What’s not to like?

JIMMYJANE ASCEND 4 Dual Vibrating Massager

Sadly, there’s a lot not to like. On paper, this vibrator looks like a champ. In reality, it’s more of a chump. I powered up the Ascend 4, expecting something like the deep, resonating dual motor rumble I get from my beloved Swan Wand. Instead, I got moderately powerful but relatively shallow vibes. The dual motors on this toy are always on the same setting, so there’s no glorious resonance as the motors play off each other. It just feels like one particularly large motor buzzing away.

The vibration of the Ascend 4 are the kind that leave me feeling itchy or numb rather than satisfied. There’s some rumble along with the buzz, but I feel the vibration mostly at skin level, not the deep sensations that wake up my internal clitoris. Not only does it leave my vulva feeling numbed, my hand is also affected from holding the buzzy thing.

During one testing session, after an extended length of time passed without me getting anywhere close to an orgasm, I stopped, thinking that perhaps my body was just having an off day. Maybe it wasn’t about the vibration quality. But when I picked up the Swan Wand a few minutes later, arousal and orgasms followed quickly. Sorry, Ascend 4…it’s not me, it’s you.

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