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Backwoods Bedroom Reviews The Aqua-King Silicone Fantasy Dildo

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REVIEW: UBERRIME AQUA-KING

“Oh. My. God. This thing is huh-uuuge!” I believe this to be my exact, word-for-word utterance after hoisting the hefty Uberrime Aqua-King, out of its satiny drawstring bag for the very first time. Then I sat, stunned into slack-jawed silence for a few seconds, just soaking it all in.Aqua-King Silicone Fantasy Dildo By UberrimeGenerally, I don’t feel the need to warn you about a toy’s size, but this toy is no joke, y’all. From the standpoint of an unwavering, dyed in the wool “size fiend” the Aqua-King’s enormous size is all well and good, and fine and dandy by me. It’s only for your sake that I feel it’s so necessary to point out this dildo’s enormous proportions. Just so you’ll know exactly what you’re getting yourself in for should you choose to try this one out for yourself.

Uberrime Aqua-King Aqua-KingAs much as I fancy big toys, I find that even I must warm up and work my way up to manage the Aqua-King’s girth and its triple row of deep ridges. Otherwise, it would be painful to even attempt insertion. Not that I’m complaining or anything. Nope, not at all. I love a challenge.

Measuring in at 7.5 inches long, with a width of 2.06-inches, (around the coronal ridge,) and weighing in at nearly a full pound, the Uberrime Aqua-King, is a massive dildo in all manners of speaking. Lucky, for us all, it’s molded from an ultra-squishy (shore 5a ) platinum silicone, which makes this toy’s girth and its trio of sharply jutting ribs (or more accurately, its dorsal fins) much more comfortable to accommodate.

For those who don’t know, the Aqua-King is available solely at SheVibe as a Uberrime exclusive. It’s a silicone tribute to the DC Comic book character, Aquaman.

Forgive me, my fellow nerds, but neither the Marvel or DC Comics universes are within my sphere of knowledge. Like a lot of people, I assume, I’ve watched most of the blockbuster movie franchises like Batman, Superman, Spiderman, and The X Men. But, something tells me that doesn’t qualify me as an authority in any real sense of the word.

Yes, sad, but also very true.

Only after viewing a preview of Warner Bros. newest superhero movie, featuring Jason Momoa, in the title role of Aquaman, did I suddenly, acquire a newfound interest in everything Aquaman related. Don’t judge. At least I’m keeping it one-hundred.

Mmmm…Jason Momoa. Raaarrr.

Sorry, I lost focus for a split second there. Where were we?

Oh, yes! That’s right, the Uberrime Aqua-King.

Let me tell you something about the Aqua-King; this toy is a true beauty to behold with its swirling, iridescent-teal and metallic-gold and its layers of upon layers of individually hand-sculpted scales. Speaking of those scales, that must have been one hell of an undertaking. I can not begin to imagine the patience it took to produce this degree of detail.

What I personally consider to be the Aqua-King’s crowning feature is its row of three highly pronounced crests that dot the first third of the way down its shaft. I’ve come to think of these as dorsal fins. If you’ll notice, these ridges start and end rather abruptly, with the first one, the most prominent of the three, forming the dildo’s coronal ridge. They then repeat twice more, growing a smidgen smaller with each repetition.

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